Day 49: Love as Fear
Anu speaks with clarity on Love as Fear in Reptilians 47.
One of the points he makes is about the suffering and pain of which we are unconscious within ourselves, amidst the chaos we accept as normal in ourselves, neither facing up to our responsibility of who we are within ourselves nor recognizing who we are in others; and how, in this Dilemma that a person comes along who seems to offer a Solution, and then this whole morass of energy as fear of self transmutes and focuses into excitement, thrill, and desire for a relationship.
The definition in our minds in separation from this energy, is that this experience equals ‘love’, and being ‘alive’, not understanding seeing or realizing that the starting point from which it comes is fear. While all the time the actual act of Love would be the opposite; in turning to ourselves instead, to intimacy of self, to the giving of ourselves back to ourselves to direct the actual real Solution of relationship to Self, and then from this stability to maybe meet another being as who they really are rather than as some projection as an object of the mind.
Is there anywhere within this world in which the consequential play-outs of this fuck-up can’t be found?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself a system life in which I have been driven and directed by the false solution of an Energetic Love.
Self-Forgiveness on Falling in Love.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘falling in Love’ was a ‘good’ and a ‘natural’ thing that ‘should’ be accepted and allowed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not responsible for ‘falling in love’.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see that I am ‘falling in love’ as a deliberate abdication of my self responsibility for who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ‘falling in love’ as a justification for my abdication of responsibility for who I am in a life in which I have already accepted and allowed myself to have ‘fallen in fear’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘falling in love’ is a justification for relationship within and as itself regardless of any other consideration.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the feeling that ‘I am obliged’ to commit myself into a relationship with another having accepted and allowed that I have ‘fallen in love’, and for not realizing that this obligation follows as a consequence of having given up on self direction of myself in my relationship to me.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see and realize that when two beings ‘fall in love’ that they have deliberately given up themselves to go according to the consequential outflows of the energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in and absorb into myself the story/programming of ‘growing-up, meeting the right-personality, and then falling-in-love, and ‘living’ happily-ever-after; and for not allowing myself to see that through this programming I am accepting and allowing me to define my future life according to the system as one in which I abdicate my self responsibility and fall into myself as a system of energy.
I commit myself to this definition of myself as Love through which I, through self-honesty, self–intimacy, and self-forgiveness, in self responsibility correct according to the principle of who I am as life as one and equal, all relationships of fear as energy that I have made within towards and as myself in separation from me as life and from the physical. And as I learn to walk align myself with mind and with the physical, I learn to walk with/ for/in support of all as me as one and equal.
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