Day 43: I Can’t Do It

 

Right now ‘the’ resistance is lobbying for entertainment, after all, I can ‘always’ blog later, etc. The fancied film which is in my power to grant myself right now would be temptation as a positive reward, while the discomfort of awareness of resistance as a negative experience functions as the motivator. The program runs along from the positions of ‘I can’t do it’, and of course the easy option, ‘I am free to not do it’, to: ‘maybe the film will give me an idea’, or maybe ‘raise a point’, or maybe in this way I can be watching the film and supporting self at the same time, lol, yeah right, in short, little self persuasions to justify not doing it, and finding ways of maybe even feeling good about not doing it as well.

 

But it’s always the same old story; to definitely not, go there. 

 

So in this blog showing myself what I am, so I can see what I am doing, rather than just reacting to myself and going in loops, I take a look at this ‘I can’t do it’ line.

Interesting how ‘can’ and ‘can’t’ are both statements of allowance. That in stating that I can’t do it, I am stating to myself that I have already accepted that I do not allow myself to do it. Since I am using this as an excuse and a justification to not do it, what I am saying in effect is: ‘I am not allowed to do it, because I do not allow myself to do it.’ The negative feelings that come along with this are memories of past experiences in which, believing that ‘I can’t do it’, I have gone into feeling bad as less-than capable of doing it, and then touched on the unpleasant experience of myself as less-than in general. And now these feelings seem to justify the statement, and I have accepted of myself to define myself as this less-than person, and formed a relationship towards myself as fear of ‘going there’, so better to move swiftly on, into hopes of positive experience within distraction. It’s a sleight of hand that does not stand examination. A different form of this that comes to mind is this one: ‘You can’t do it, because I say so’. Here again my excuse of  ‘I can’t do it’, seems to get more weight, because there is a victimized me involved in which ‘it is not my fault or my responsibility that I can’t do it, because having accepted the authority of the voice that says ‘because I say so’, I blame it for not letting me do it. In doing this, unconsciously I justify the authority of the command, and within this one lurks, poor me, I just can’t change, which only adds to this negative experience of myself as less-than, powerless, trapped within this definition of who I am, afraid I might expose myself and see me groveling to this command. In effect I am protecting my own self-enslavement as not responsible for me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts that come up in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe this thought in my mind of ‘I can’t do it’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe this thought is me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to this thought of ‘I can’t do it’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not capable of doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less-than when I see this definition of myself as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in shame of who I am within this judgement that I made of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear this negative experience of myself as my own judgement and shame of who I am according to the definition which I have accepted and allowed myself to make of who and what I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not examine how I came to be what I have accepted and allowed myself to be because I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give authority to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from fear and to make a relationship to fear in which I am less than fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek a positive experience of myself in which I continue to allow myself as an experience of energy.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I abdicate from self-direction, then it follows that I take directives from the system of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to myself as being directed by the system of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my victimhood, as consequence of abdicating self-direction, upon the authority which I myself have given to the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify through blame the authority of direction of the mind.

 

 

I commit myself to prove to me through breathing, writing, self forgiveness, self correction, that I can and do allow myself to take up self-direction of myself, that I can and do allow myself to give myself this opportunity of realizing who I am as Life, that I can and do accumulate self trust in me, that I can and do allow myself to change.

 

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life  blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

AND…Check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

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~ by adamsblogs on June 2, 2012.

One Response to “Day 43: I Can’t Do It”

  1. cool self-support here Adam, thanks for sharing!

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