Day 31: The experience of automatic spite machine

 

Where am I to go and what am I to do with and as this glass tube of self context purpose that is stuck upon my head. What am I to do, entangled as I am within and as the purposes of consciousness to just get future energized without comprehension or regard or reference to who I am as Life?

 

I commit myself to stop this machinery of Energy to which I have given of myself as I to this machinery of Me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the automatic spite machine that I have become. I forgive myself that I have agreed that if I pull the trigger then it is a signal that my automatic spite machine will act for me instead of me to protect the authority of me as commander of this energy machine that I have accepted and allowed myself to become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate an automatic hero reflection of myself that bristles with guns and metals of technology all ready to destroy the world, who says, ‘I am here to help you, to protect who you are in the world as an example of righteousness so that you can keep your freedom to abuse’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be as a ranking of energy within and as righteousness, an image in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly within myself enjoy this positivity in me as mind machine, the crowning over and over of myself as self elite, surrounded by my loyalty as spite.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that no one can stop the wheels of war when they begin to turn.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wash my hands of my responsibility having pulled the trigger of my spite.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed within myself within the corridors of my own palace of myself within my mind to have a special button that I can press if all else fails that will cause destruction of the world so that I can win, so that I can be the final word.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the energetic joy of victory of spite within ‘who laughs last laughs longest’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that through this war there will be a trickle down of positivity experience for me on which to gorge myself within a future in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see that this spite is me within and as a tantrum of the mind in which I am convinced in my possession of belief  that come what may I will and have to take and take of energy to survive.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to see the system of myself writ large across the world in consequence of me throughout all time in consequence as me within and as all systems.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to look upon the actual trigger of my automatic spite machine of me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look upon the actual trigger of my automatic spite machine of me, and not see fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a setting and a limit of this experience of myself within the boundaries of my self deceit, so that I may never come across this question of who am I within this fear of fear?

 

Who am I within this fear of fear, this self interest within self interest, is there any-me at at all but only energy machine in spite of me as Life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pull the trigger of my spite machine as me to vote confirm and underwrite and sign the reality of fear as me, within this fear as me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to first believe and then to look upon this fear of fear as me and see only fear, fear for ever everywhere as who I am, and then to pull the trigger of this spite machine to return within the folds of who I am as energy, who and what I stand for in this mind of righteousness belief, and war.

 

 

 

see: Heaven’s Journey to Life

and: Creation’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life  blogs

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Equalmoney.org

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~ by adamsblogs on May 18, 2012.

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