Day 17: Contact and Regret

 

(continued from Day 14: Parting Company)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wallow in regret as if I would like to punish me for not being able to get what I want and desire on my terms. From Creation’s Journey to Life: Letting go of Regret.

That relationship:

Did we ever have a conversation about who and what we are as beings in existence? And was it ever possible to reach beyond the bounds of our experience of ourselves reflected in each other?

These would be the post-death questions of regret as I look upon relationships and meetings in which there was no contact.

The realization that I did not get that what I want was just the same as that I did not give that what I wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that moment when I did not give that which I wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that moment that I did not share myself without condition of return.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that moment when I could not see the presence of another but only me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that moment when I did not dare to see the presence of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that moment that I missed because I was not here, but was instead pre-occupied and distracted in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that this regret is my preoccupation in my mind in which I feed this image of myself in and as my history of me, in which there is no other, but only me and me in relationship to me, and in this relationship I am angry with myself that I did not do what I could have done, that I did not seize that moment or recognize that it was real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so angry with myself that I have accepted and allowed for me and for all others a reality according to my mind in which all beings are strangers to themselves and to each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that anger is real, appropriate, and deserved by me to exert on me within this secret isolation of my relationship to myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to recognize that in regret  that what I have accepted and allowed within myself is me continuing to dwell within the confines of this system of myself as mind in judgement of myself exerting anger on myself as images of memory.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to learn from this regret, and change, but that instead I have allowed myself to tolerate regret, to accept it as an outflow of who I am as this belief in which I hide that I am not responsible for who I am and therefore cannot change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that in my anger at myself and my regret that I am showing me that ‘Here I require to make a Change’.

Self Correction

When and as I see myself going into this experience of regret, I stop, I breathe, I look at where and how it is I did not stand, I use this anger at myself as my resolve to change. This regret of ‘contactless’ I change, I commit myself to sharing who I am.

Commitment.

I commit myself to learn from my regrets, I commit myself to a world that Is, that can be changed, I commit myself to a physical reality that can and will be realigned to what is best for all.

see: Heaven’s Journey to Life

and:

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

Eqafe.com

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~ by adamsblogs on May 3, 2012.

One Response to “Day 17: Contact and Regret”

  1. Adam, thanks for sharing!

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