Day 16: Consciousness, my Secret
A new perspective on a word in which before I only had my relationship to me.
Realisations today of how supportive it can be to hear a new perspective on a word. Or actually a perspective where in fact before there had been none. If I had been clear or had some space of breath inside I might have wandered, what is this fluttering of energy in me that I feel when I hear the word judgement? Why is it that I find it hard to look upon this word straight on?
This is a point that opened up for me in reading Heaven’s Journey to Life blog.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have charged the word ‘judgement’ with negative energy, as something ‘bad’ and have made a relationship to judgement so that in investigation of myself as and in the act of judgement I experience only this relationship as fear and even though I look, I do not look ‘too’ carefully, and therefore do not see myself but only how I am towards myself in judgement of myself as judgement, so that I may never see this who I am as I have accepted and allowed except through words as energy as defined through my experience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this singularity manifestation of this who I am as ‘me’ has been the direct consequence of an act of judgement in which I made an act of opposition to all and everything as one as negativity, as friction, as energy, as relationship in which I became this singularity manifestation of ‘me’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the source of who I am as this singularity manifestation of ‘me’ is judgement.
So, continuing realisations in which I uncover my own self-deceptions through seeing how I have manipulated an item of my own vocabulary so that when I come to examine and investigate this who I am I find the very articulation of my quest in words has been fixed so that it would never be possible to find an answer, and thus in separation assured, investigate my separation.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see that this relationship I have towards the world is the consequence of me as judgement and my willingness to divide and separate the All as One as Equal into ‘me’ and ‘the world’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see through my thoughts and through my mind this point of judgement in myself as ‘just’ ‘another’ point I need to walk and equalize, when all the time I’m looking through this world of me as judgement in which I tell myself I ‘see’ this ‘point’ of judgement.
Understanding that this tendency to judge in me, is an aspect of this consciousness that I have accepted as a separate being supports me in facing the relationships that I have made from it and in looking at them straight on, and so in taking responsibility for all of these relationships of judgement I have made I can walk through self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear this tendency to judgement.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect this fear to judgement so that in fearing myself as judgement I am reacting to myself as fear of fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed of me as judgement and for not allowing myself to see that this ‘badness’ that I feel is me in judgement of myself as judgement.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide myself out of this shame of me as judgement, and for not realizing that what I am attempting to hide is consciousness itself as if it was my secret from where I cannot alter or correct myself or even see what I am doing.
I commit myself to walk these points, from where I am. I commit myself to expose the secrets of this consciousness that I have kept in consciousness in order to protect this consciousness. I do not accept this fear of me as consciousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become directed by this consciousness as fear. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept for others as myself a world directed by this consciousness as fear.