Day 13: That Here I did not Stand
As the movement of this substance in this ripple world I walk this point, realizing that this walk is movement, that a step is a step in only what is here.
I am on a bus in London, I am travelling to meet my brother. A new addition to my diary of regrets: a thought comes up, ‘I should not have said what I just said to X’, a momentary regret, and instantly my head jerks down away from here in which I breathe, into the distraction of regret. My face turns down and left towards the detail of a transfer on the glass, my thumb moves in to scratch the edge up with its nail, its like I am trying to remove this small black symbol, and words I do not read, and then I realize that I’ve gone into this experience of regret and the re-affirmation of this self-interest alignment of me as energy. I stop, I breathe, I do not accept this thought that I did not do what I should have done within the moralities of mind. I cannot erase a ripple of consequence or deny it or allow myself to react to it within the negativity of my own self judgement but only walk what is actually here of me in this actual movement of this walk of me to life.
That it was so, that in that moment that I did not stand as life remains.
A meeting with my brother. He gave to me in the sharing of his system which is mine. We sheltered from the rain. We were like two voices in a museum. Amongst the consequences of the world encased in glass he shared with me regrets, like moments in a life-review. He showed to me the regret of all regrets that Here I did not Stand.
…I continue into this next blog
see also: Heaven’s Journey to Life