Day 412: Strength

Entrance

Day 412: Strength

From Waking Up from a Living Nightmare and previous post, to looking at that moment of giving up, this post starts some sharing of the process of walking me through the programming of Abandoned. See Atlanteans Series on Abandoned.

Self Forgiveness on a moment of entering a pattern: Backchat “…and By the Way, Let me just Remind you: about that Thing, you know, about that thing that makes you feel Bad…”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed implicit in this backchat that being reminded of a thing that then I do accept and do allow that I can be made to feel things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to this manipulation strategy and then think in my mind: If I do this – and go along with this, into this pattern – that I will destroy my ‘life’ – if I will continue to do these things – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the word Life to be as a picture in my mind, as without substance, and am not speaking as it through me as it, and so it is not real, there is no life as me within it, what is missing is my stand of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can make a stand by using this word Life as a formula of letters in my mind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to a Future personality that has no inkling of reality, which exists within a hope of a bright new start –tomorrow – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in this reaction to not see that I am in reaction, but instead believe that this is who I am as the voice of my fear and best intentions. Therefore in this moment is to see realise and understand that there is one thing only I can trust, which is simply only me, and nothing else. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in a moment’s hesitation to be drawn into reasoning in my mind about standing up in Life. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my trust in personalities of the mind.

Strength: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will fail in redefining Strength for me, believing Strength to be no more than how I think it is within me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I can’t imagine in my mind what Strength might be beyond the way it is defined in me and lived by me, then I should listen to the trust I’ve placed into my mind, and avoid the redefining process, and effectively hide myself away from living Strength. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my interpretation of myself through the definitions of myself that I have accepted and allowed within my mind – as in – Not having Strength – but instead Have Weakness. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a judgement of my accepted weakness – as being a fault in me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in relation to Strength as being a loser. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of who I am in my experience of myself that comes from how I have defined myself through my acceptance of such judgements. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the weakness I have perceived myself to be is but the presence of a strength that can be strengthened.

So in Strength, what’s new that I bring to Strength in support of me is an awareness that who I am in Strength is my ability to Strengthen me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed who I am as Strength to be defined and fixed by judgements in my mind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through comparison to others. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in competition with others, through which I have lost touch with me in me, and through which I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon my ability to strengthen me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself in using my relationship to strength as less-than strength, by using it as an excuse for giving up on me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear of seeing my own responsibility in having the ability to strengthen me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a comfort zone within this relationship of giving up on me.

 

 

 

 

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